More Friday Stuff

  • D and I got out of the house for a bit this afternoon. We had a late lunch, and then ended up walking around Best Buy for a while. We got our heads turned by a washer & dryer set, because we are old. Ha.
  • Speaking of D, I just ordered some of his Christmas gifts, and it feels good to have that done.
  • I had packages awaiting me when I got home earlier. I had two packages that contained loungewear. I decided to splurge and bought myself some things from Soma. So now I have a few bougie pajama sets. I figured this was a good buy given how much time I spend at home nowadays. Comfort is king!
  • Another package is the latest edition of Wildfire, which is a magazine for younger women who are facing life after a breast cancer diagnosis. This particular issue is the annual metastatic breast cancer issue, and I’m super excited to dig into it. I almost submitted a poem or essay myself, but I chickened out at the last minute.
  • I’m happy to report that I’m really into the book I’m currently reading. It feels like that has been a big problem for me lately, a lack of interest in things, so it’s nice to be feeling again. And hopefully I’ll get back to my normal reading schedule. My Reading Rivalry contribution was quite sad last month, and I felt bad when our team came in dead last. Oof!
  • I’ve had this weird craving recently for what I’ll call “old lady candy.” I’m currently on the lookout for those chewy neopolitan candies. I need them.
  • You know what I miss: a message rare ribeye steak with a loaded baked potato and a Caesar salad. I’m not supposed to eat steak or lettuce, and I’m so very sad.
  • Tonight we’re having bbq salmon with pasta in a pesto sauce. I’ll allow it.
  • xoxo

The Friday DL

D asked me what I’m going to do today. My response was, “Whatever I feel like doing,” but here is a to-do list:

  • Pay mortgage
  • Clear dining room table
  • Laundry
  • Watch more of “The Sex Lives Of College Girls”
  • Have lunch with D
  • Possibly go to Ulta but I probably won’t
  • Shower (this is taxing enough nowadays that it feels like a chore)

I’ve been awake since 5 am and that sucks. It’s 8:12 now. I have the entire day ahead of me. I guess I should get up and feed the cats. I let Jackson stay home from school today. He requested a mental health day, and I get it. I totally get it.


Babble Blog

I’m so envious of all the healthy people just out in the world, living their lives. It’s hard not to be bitter. I have to work at it. I remind myself every day of the good things in my life, and I’m grateful, but I’m also reminded of so much loss.

Having cancer in your GI tract is the fucking worst, dude. It’s so uncomfortable, and it is constant. I never get a break. I’m either constipated or I can’t stay out of the bathroom. The stomach cramps are present regardless. I’m bloated constantly, and look pregnant. It’s just a literal shit show and I hate it.

And I’m so fucking tired.

Anyway – suffice to say, this has been a bad afternoon for me. My stomach isn’t playing nicely today, which isn’t a big surprise given his things went last night. At least I’m not constipated anymore? I guess that’s the silver lining.

We were supposed to have dinner with friends, but that obviously can’t happen. So I don’t know how the rest of the evening will go. The boys are on their way home now. We have Jackson again tonight, because his dad is sick. Maybe we’ll watch a movie. That sounds nice. I’m not in the mood for more Christmas decorating. I just can’t get into the holiday spirit, it seems.

Get It

I ended up really sick last night, but the rest of the day was amazing. I definitely overdid it, but I have no regrets. In fact, D and I are meeting up with friends tonight for dinner. I’m looking forward to it. Seize the day, right?

This chemo has me extremely fatigued. I feel like I could sleep endlessly. I have very little energy. I want to get up and clear off all the crap on the dining room table, but I don’t have it in me currently to do so. Maybe later.