well hello there

I woke up this morning in an unusually good mood. I bounced out of bed (super weird for me). I was singing to the cats while I fed them. The singing to the cats is not unusual, but it is unusual for me to be so chipper in the morning. I hate mornings.

My good mood lasted until I logged into work and had to deal with some fuckery. Other people’s lack of organization affecting my life makes me ragey.

Anyway – I have a big docket tomorrow morning, which was the subject of the work meeting that went awry, and I have spent all day cleaning up the messes. It still isn’t great. I’m both excited for and dreading tomorrow morning. There is just something about the adrenaline rush from certain types of hearings that really gets me going. I need that rush right now. Everything feels so stagnant.

***

I’m having a bit of a life crisis currently, which I have mentioned before. So much of my identity has been wrapped up in being the managing partner of my law firm, and now that I’ve moved on from that I don’t really know what to do with myself.

I’m only working p/t – and that is good. My stress level is greatly reduced. But what now? What do I want to do with the rest of my life? I’ve been doing some soul searching, but it’s clear that it isn’t going to be an easy answer. Maybe there isn’t any one answer. So I’m currently brainstorming – thinking of things that I have always wanted to do, and figuring out ways to do them. My most recent idea has to do with horses. I have always loved them, though have also been slightly afraid of them, since I have zero training. I’ve been on a handful of rides in my life, but have never taken lessons. Today I decided that I want to take lessons. I found a local place and sent an inquiry regarding private lessons. I’m very excited about this, and cannot wait to hear back. I’m hoping this will be a good hobby for me.

I have more to say about my existential crisis, but my husband is ready for happy hour now (aka wifey time), and so I must go.

ttfn

que será, será

My tumor markers didn’t go down, but did remain stable. I don’t know what to make of that, and I kind of don’t give a fuck right now.

I have my next round of scans on the 26th. I’m going to try my best to forget about cancer until then.

Tomorrow is my bestie’s last round of radiation for endometrial cancer. There is a surprise celebration planned for her. Don’t worry – she doesn’t read the blog. Lol.

There will be cake. I will not be having any. Sigh.

I really, really wanna see the 130s this week. I’m obsessed.

There is a double date planned for Thursday night and I am insanely excited. More on that later.

D and I are talking about getting a hotel room on Saturday night and getting our drink on. I’m getting my second covid vaccine that day though so idk. We need to discuss further.

I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster recently. I’m a mess.

Oh so tired.

I’m ready for spring. It’s going to be a good one. I just know it.