Another surgery completed!

Afternoon surgeries really suck. I was so hungry and thirsty by the time I got to the hospital that I had the worst headache. I was supposed to go to the OR at 2:30, but didn’t go until about 45 minutes after that because my surgeon was running behind. It wasn’t as traumatizing going in this time. (I cried last time). I feel like a pro.

When I woke up in recovery, I was in more pain than I expected to be, but it was still way better than the last surgery. I’ve discovered that morphine and I don’t mix. It does very little to control my pain. I suffered for about an hour before I was able to get oxycodone, which made everything better.

Upon waking post-surgery, I was overcome with an intense sadness, and I started to cry. I’m still adjusting to the fact that I’m a cancer patient. I have breast cancer at 33. Wtf? That’s a hard pill to swallow. I have two more incisions. I have a port in my chest so that the nurses can easily inject poison into my body starting next month. This is just completely ridiculous.

Once I’ve recovered from this surgery and can drive, I’m going to check out the local Young Women’s Breast Cancer Group, which meets in Clayton. I need to meet people who can relate to what I’m going through. I’ve started to feel a bit lonely lately. Almost everyone has been amazing about this, but none of them really understand how I’m feeling. I’m hoping to meet someone my age I can talk with candidly.

Being diagnosed with cancer is good for a few things:

1. It shows you very quickly who you can count on. That is a real eye opener. I have found it to be somewhat surprising, and as a result, a few relationships have strengthened considerably.

2. Perspective. I see things differently now. My priorities are changing. I appreciate how precious and fleeting life really is. I intend to live my life differently moving forward.

There is more, but it’s 2:30 in the morning, so that’s good for now.

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