I had a dream last night that I had recovered enough to resume running. In the dream, I was happily running along, and then I looked down and my left arm was huge and swollen. I had gotten lymphedema during the run. I woke up with a gasp (because I’m always dramatic, even while sleeping), and was quite relieved that it was only a dream.
Cancer is now taking over my dreams. This is bullshit.
As happy as I am that all of the nodes she removed were negative, I’m more than a little annoyed that I had an unnecessary surgery. My gut told me not to do it, and I questioned my surgeon about it, but she told me that in my situation she recommended it 100%. So I did it. For nothing. On the other hand, if I hadn’t done it, I would be sitting here right now wondering if the cancer was slowly spreading around while I wait for chemo to kill it off. So…it’s a no win situation.
Fuck it. I’m just going to be happy about it. I am going to beat this shit. Some people aren’t that lucky.