I feel like I should take a break from life; like maybe lock myself away in my apartment until chemo is over, and have no contact with the outside world.
I’m trying not to be in a horrible mood, but it’s hard. I feel terrible. I’m sad. I’m lonely even when I’m not alone. I care about very little of the things I used to care about. I’m having a difficult time being a good friend, sister, partner, or mother, because I just don’t care about anything.
My scalp has been sore today, which means more hair is falling out. I had five eyelashes come out this morning when I was washing my face. When I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize the person staring back at me.
I know that the point of this is to live. I kill the cancer cells so that I can keep on living. Right now it’s really hard to care.
Welcome to my pity party. Bring your own beer, because I can’t even drink anymore.