Yesterday was a bad day. I woke up in a bad mood, and it just got worse as the day went on. There was a short period in the early evening when I was feeling better, but everything spiraled out of control after Jackson went to bed. I was a crying mess. With the help of Ann and Xanax, I was finally able to fall asleep. I feel much better this morning. The chemo is fucking with my emotions. One minute I’m fine, and the next I’m crying. As I’ve mentioned before, everything makes me cry nowadays.

I have all these random things I want to say:

  • New Taxol side effect: tooth sensitivity/pain. Last night, all of my teeth hurt, and the pain was intense. I took four Advil, and that helped a bit. It flared up after eating some ice cream. I won’t be doing that again, which I guess will be good for my weight.
  • Speaking of weight, I have gained a couple of pounds. While I know this is nothing, and that weigh fluctuates normally, I’m still not happy about it. Now that I’m not nauseous all the time, it has been difficult to control my eating habits. The steroids are a bitch that way. So I’m back to tracking my intake and exercise through Weight Watchers online. I use WW whenever I’m trying to lose weight. It works very well for me. The healthy weight range for my height (5’6”) is 124 to 155. I weigh 134 as of this morning. I want to weigh between 125 and 130.
  • Part of my issue has been candy. I’ve had a lot of candy in the house the last couple of weeks. I’ve been eating a lot of this candy. This needs to stop. But speaking of candy, why the hell did they change the green Skittle from lime to green apple flavor? Green apple is disgusting. I guess I should look at this as a good thing, because I won’t be eating Skittles anymore.
  • I finished season 2 of GoT last night. I had forgotten how awesome it was. The last episode is amazing. I cannot wait until 3/31, which is the season 3 premiere. I want to have a viewing party. Last year, I got to see the season 2 premiere at the Tivoli a few weeks before it aired on HBO. That was a lot of fun.
  • Daenerys and Tyrion are my favorite characters. I hate Stannis and his entire story line. It’s even worse in the books. Speaking of the books, when is the next one going to be released? I need my fix.
  • Tonight is the Tegan & Sara concert. I am so excited.
  • I’m once again seriously considering getting an LLM in bankruptcy. (For those that don’t know, an LLM is kind of like a masters degree for lawyers. It allows you to specialize in a particular area of law.) I could set it up so I start classes in the fall, which would give me time to recover from treatment before starting. There isn’t a local program, so I’d have to do an online program. It’s a big decision, because it isn’t cheap, and I certainly have a fuck ton of student loan debt already. But I keep coming back to it, so I don’t know what to do.
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