The fatigue is bad this round.  I slept really well last night, but I’m still exhausted.  Oh and the pain is here.  Yay.  At least this is the last time. 

The last time. Wow.

I’ve been researching radiation.  If I wasn’t so young, they likely wouldn’t recommend radiation.  I’m so frustrated with this entire process.  I’m over cancer.  I want to be fucking done with this, and I won’t be anytime soon.  After radiation, I’ll take Tamoxifen for five years.  I want to feel normal again, and it sucks to know that I will never feel normal again.  I’ll never be who I was before.  I have to be someone who got cancer.

I’m scared of the side effects of radiation, especially lymphedema.  I swear to god, if I get lymphedema I am going to flip my shit.  I’m only doing radiation for Jackson.  If I wasn’t a mother, I would skip it and take my chances.

I’m really pissed off about this today.