This has been both a horrible and wonderful week.
On the relationship front, this week has been an epic fail. I’m pretty much heartbroken and horrified over how that entire situation went down. However, after doing some soul searching and talking with my best girls (Ann, Danielle, Kristie, and Rosa), I feel like this is the right thing. Who knows what will happen in the future, but for now I need to learn to be single. I need to do some dating. I never did much dating. I had a couple of semi-serious relationships in high school/early college. I met Grant when I was 18 years old, and then that was it. We got married, and were together for about 14 years. After Grant, I had this one year relationship with Dave. I went from being married to being seriously committed rather quickly. That was a mistake, and I wish I could go back and change things, because I think we would both be happier right now, but obviously I can’t do that. Instead, I’m going to learn a lesson and make the best of things. I know he’s really upset with me right now, and I’m definitely upset with him, but I hope we will be able to at least be friendly again someday.
One thing is certain, and that is that I refuse to wait around for a grown man to get his shit together. I spent way too long doing that the last time and life is too fucking short.
The idea of dating is kind of exciting. It’s also a little scary. Dating is hard enough as it is, and now I’ll be dating as a breast cancer survivor. I expressed my fears to a friend today, and she told me she doesn’t think I’ll have any problems. Apparently her brother-in-law, upon hearing about my break up, was quite bummed that he recently got back together with his ex, because he has been interested in dating me. He’s cute, so that made me smile. I’m just going to try to have fun with it, because I think I deserve some fun.
I have had Jackson all week because Grant is recovering from surgery. I’ll have him until next Wednesday. It has been wonderful having him around. He’s out of school so we have been hanging out and doing fun stuff. He’s been really well behaved, and never stops talking. It was a lot of fun taking him to see the apartment yesterday. He keeps talking about moving into his new room, and I’m happy that he’s so excited. This is a fresh start that we desperately need.
I’ve done some awesome bonding with my friends and sister this week. I’m very lucky to have so many amazing people in my life to support me.
Also, radiation week one (of seven) is completed! Win.