on my mind

I tried shopping for shorts this morning, and I quickly remembered why I don’t wear shorts. Where are the acceptable options for grown women who don’t want their asses hanging out but who also aren’t ready to look like someone’s grandmother? Seriously, wtf?!

I left with a dress instead. Dresses for life, man.

I also tried bra shopping, which never goes well either. It’s funny because before cancer my boobs were tiny, and bra shopping sucked because nothing ever fit. Now these stupid things are barely contained by a D cup and none of the bras are cute and nothing ever fits. Also…side boob. 

I saw my oncologist today. All is seemingly good, though I always worry for about 24 hours after seeing him, because if I get a call then it means my blood work is bad, and if my blood work is bad then I have to get a scan, and all of that means I probably have cancer again and ugh wtf I hate this. And this is my fucking life now. Forever. 

He wants me to take a low dose of Lexapro and to come back in six months. Six months is January. That’s fucking crazy. It feels weird to be on the six month follow up schedule now. I liked three months because we could catch stuff more quickly.  I’m not so sure about the Lexapro. How many pills can I stand to take in one day? *sigh*

I have a raging headache. 

I took Benadryl last night and slept for the first time in two days. I was asleep by 9:30. 

I’m in a good mood. This is going to be a good week. Lots of fun stuff happening. DMB. Road trip. Let’s do this. 

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