where does the good go?

My ex recently made a change that I think will really help him start moving forward with his life, and that makes me happy. Sometimes when I’m talking to him, he’ll say something so full of bitterness that I will be reminded that he is still recovering from our divorce. Even though I’ll sometimes get upset about whatever it is he has said, I try to remember that he is not in the same place I am. It’s hard sometimes, though. Really hard. 

I feel conflicted about our exes. On the one hand, I feel guilty about the way things went down, and I want nothing more than for them to be happy. I want us to have friendly parenting relationships with them. That is the most important thing. 

On the other hand, their self-victimization and obvious desire to see our relationship go down in flames can make friendly feelings quite difficult. I often find myself having to hold my tongue. But I suppose it makes sense, considering the circumstances under which we all came together.  (I wrote about it once, and while I won’t link to it here, you can find it if you search the “truthful tuesday” tag.)

I guess this is just how it goes. All things considered, it could be much worse. According to an article I read once, anger, bitterness, resentment, and vengefulness are all common feelings post-divorce. Especially when you have moved on and the ex has not. 

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