I just had a one sided argument with my cat because I am a crazy person.

Me: *tries to cuddle cat and she isn’t having it*

Me: You know, you lounge about on your fat ass on my bed all day and get your fur all over the place and then when I want to cuddle you’re like no way bitch. That’s rude, kitty. 

I always talk to her as if she’s going to respond. When I was a little girl, my grandmother told me that at midnight on Christmas animals could talk. I tried every year for like three years before I finally accepted it wasn’t true. 

Now I have to go find Violet and beg for forgiveness.