I’ve used that blog title before, and I’ll use it again, because it’s the title to one of my favorite songs. I was listening to it in the car this morning on my way to drop Jackson off at school.

My favorite lyrics:

And you know that I love you
here and now, not forever.
I can give you the present.
I don’t know about the future.
That’s all stuff and nonsense.

In other news, I’m still battling this horrible flu. I went to work yesterday, against my better judgment, because the show must go on, right? When you’re the managing partner you’ve got to fucking manage. So that’s what I did. Today, however, I’ve decided to just stay in bed. Dave and I are traveling this weekend and I need to feel better. The only way to make that happen is to rest. And I’m not going to feel bad about it. I always feel guilty about not being in the office because there’s so much to do, and everything feels so fucking urgent. But nope, not gonna do it this time. Taking care of myself has to become a priority at some point, so why not right now? (And there are other reasons, but those are more appropriate for a separate post).

I started a new book last night: What She Knew. It’s about a mother whose eight-year-old son goes missing. I’m only about four chapters in and I’m already terribly anxious. Some of the stuff is hitting a little too close to home. Last night when I finally put it down so I could go to sleep, I had to go into Jackson’s room and give him a long hug (he was sound asleep). The mere thought of anything happening to him makes me feel ill. This is going to be a tough one to get through, though so far it is very interesting and well-written.

Insomnia is back. None of my old meds seem to work anymore. I guess it’s time to call the doctor. I hate relying on drugs, but I have to sleep.

I’ve taken to calling myself a hideous troll whale (because that’s how I feel). Nobody is amused. Except me.

I have a happy hour scheduled tonight with some colleagues. I don’t really feel up to going, though I feel like I should suck it up and go. Decisions, decisions.

Microfest tickets have been acquired! Can’t wait. Beer festivals are my favorite, though I must say that I’m quite excited about the wine festival (Grapes in the Garden) we are going to that same weekend. Yep, we are going to two “try all the drinks” festivals in one weekend. Not ideal. Or is it? Hmm.

We are off to Chicago tomorrow! We’re staying for three nights, and we already have some incredible stuff planned. And we get to see Melissa & Jenn! *insert all the heart eyes*