I swear to fucking god my ex is a master at making literally everything about himself.
Teacher: Jackson really loves books.
The ex: Oh that’s because I’m in publishing so books are a huge part of my life…blah blah blah.
Teacher: Jackson is advanced on everything but writing.
The ex: Oh that’s crazy because I’m a published author. Blah blah blah.
Me: 😡😡😡😡😡
JEN: (big smile) That’s right! At home, Jackson wipes his butt with the pages of Daddy’s books. He’s been doing it himself since he was tiny; so advanced.
(awkward silence)
(Jen earns a drink and a hug from The Internet)
Hahahaha I just choked on my beer. ❤️