It took all the willpower I possess to not stop at the three Dunkin Donuts I passed on the way into the office today. The struggle was fucking real.

Thoughts I’ve had already this morning:

Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck you. And you, too. Especially you. I fucking hate you. I’ve never liked you and I’m tired of pretending like I do.

Imma cut a bitch.

I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want, and if you don’t like it then you can choke on a fucking dick, you fucking fuck.

I wish a motherfucker would.

Then I thought to myself, Jenn, why are you in such a bad mood? Then I went to the bathroom and discovered why:

I’m having my first full blown period in four fucking years. It still sucks just as much as I remembered.

Fuuuuuuuuuck. I miss my Mirena.