Last night was weird. I was in a ridiculous amount of pain and nothing was helping. A list of remedies I tried:

• elevated leg
• ice/heat
• massage
• prescription pain meds (tramadol)
• prescription anti-inflammatory (celebrex)
• over the count pain & anti-inflammatory
• soaking in hot bath
• sleeping
• wrapping & icy hot rub
• aromatherapy
• walking/stretching

There were actual moments where I was screaming because the pain was so intense. I have a very high pain tolerance and this shit was no joke. It was scary because my condition appears to be getting worse (again), and I’m worried that my rheumatologist isn’t going to want me to start the only therapy that actually works to put me into remission (because of cancer issues). Oh and she can’t see me until fucking August, so…

Maybe I need to find a new doc? Sigh.

Anyway, I was feeling like shit so I decided to add booze and weed into the remedy mix. This actually helped. The pain was still there, but it felt far away and didn’t bother me as much. I was finally able to relax. Unfortunately, it also made me nauseous and dizzy. I ended up crawling around at one point. I hadn’t eaten much yesterday, so D came home and made me a filet and baked potato. (I’m totes spoiled). I’m so lucky to have him.

I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. The pain is still there, but it is much more manageable. Good thing too because I am in charge of getting and feeding the kids tonight, which means no drugs for me.

I’m going to try to enjoy spending this rainy/dreary day in bed. D is home writing the final exam for the class he taught this semester. I like having him around.

**notes to self
Alt therapies to ask about: cortisone injection in knee, prednisone – could do that until I get past the breast cancer five year remission mark and then go back on biologicals. Maybe Otezla instead of Enbrel? Is there a difference in the way it works? Investigate cancer risk.