I hate my current haircut. I think my stylist did a shitty job.
And I think I’m being too much of a scared little bitch to do what I really want with my hair because I’m worried I need to look a certain way on my wedding day. (I want to chop it all off like right now and go back to my short, jet black, pixie hair).
I bought my mom a Mother’s Day card for the first time in years. Now I just need to mail it off.
I’ll feel lucky if my ex even remembers to have Jackson give me/make me a card for Mother’s Day.
It feels sort of weird to be in a position where I’m helping my step-daughter pick out and buy presents for her mom for Mother’s Day. And even weirder that I’m strangely excited about helping out with it.
That said, I think Mother’s Day is a stupid holiday that makes a lot of people feel bad needlessly. Not all of us have good relationships with our mothers. Not all of us have living mothers. That’s important to remember.
For example, I offered to buy D a card to send to his mom and he declined. Given what I know about the situation, I can’t blame him, but I know he will feel a little shitty about things on Sunday and that makes me sad for him.
This weekend is my bestie’s birthday. We are going out tonight for dinner. I have yet to buy her any gifts. I’m probably going to get her a fat gift card to Ulta and call it a day.
Her birthday always reminds me of getting separated, because it was on her birthday five years ago that the ex and I broke up. It also happened to be Mother’s Day. Double fucking whammy, right?
It was at her birthday party five years ago (the night before her actual b-day), that I took a good look at him and decided enough was enough. I simply couldn’t do it anymore.
It’s scary how much you can love somebody until you simply don’t anymore.
It’s also scary how much you can think you love somebody, until you find somebody else you love more, and then you feel confused about what your feelings really were. It’s a bit of a mind fuck.
All those little hurts add up, people. Don’t forget that.
This post is sort of dark, but I promise I’m actually in a pretty good mood.
Despite the fact that I’m probably going to get yelled at by the judge tomorrow morning.
