I want to feel good about myself and the way I look, but all I can see when I look in the mirror is a frumpy, chubby, middle aged hag. I tear myself down every time I look in the mirror or see a pic so I’ve been avoiding both. The worst part is that while I’m battling these feelings, I have nobody to share them with because everyone thinks I’m a crazy person when I mention it. And I get that on some level, I guess, but that doesn’t change the way I feel. I wish I knew how to fix it. 

I’m hoping these feelings are popping up because my birthday is rapidly approaching, and that maybe I’ll feel better after. I do know that consistently exercising would help a lot, but that’s a no go until I get my psoriatic arthritis under control. I can barely walk right now. These flares aren’t helping me feel any less old either, let me tell you. 

Anyway, just needed to get that out. I feel better for having put it out in the world.