I know, I know…I’ve been super bloggy today, but I’m home from work today and I’m a bit lonely. The kids are here (for now), but they’re doing their own thing. Besides, kid companionship does not equal adult companionship.
I was supposed to be going on a date tonight with a lady who has been crushing on me for years. The date was set up with D’s approval, of course. I ended up canceling because I don’t feel well, but mostly because it just feels weird without D being involved. I’m not sure that is something I’m particularly interested in, especially since it feels very hypocritical. I would not allow him this same leeway.
Men just have a soft spot for girl on girl, I suppose. Or would that be a hard spot?
Ha. I’m funny.
I have boundaries that need to be respected that aren’t being respected, and so I am going to have some difficult conversations regarding this. Ugh.
The good news is that I have gotten really good at having difficult conversations. Honestly, most of my life feels like me telling people shit they don’t want to hear. Such is the life of a lawyer, I suppose. Well a consumer lawyer anyway.
I forced myself to get my workout done earlier. It was brutal considering the health issues I’m dealing with today, but it was necessary. I’m in an excellent head space right now regarding being healthier. This is everything right now.
It has been helpful to start this now with D gone. It’s so easy for us to get crazy on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and honestly almost every night feels like date night nowadays since we live together. Too much food and booze has resulted in both of us gaining weight over the last couple of years. But fuck we had fun gaining that weight.
Next week I’ll be on my little staycation and I plan to hit it even harder. I want to see results by the end of this three week challenge.
My knee is a fucking disaster right now, because of course it is, and I’m pissed as hell that after a month my new prescription still hasn’t been approved. Grrrrrrrr. BUT…I’m not letting this stop me this time. I have to find a way to work around it. Staying on top of my diet is #1. But I have also been modifying some of the higher impact moves in an attempt to shield my knee. I can already tell that I won’t be able to do much tomorrow, but I’m still going to find a way to walk a 5k at least. Every little bit counts, after all.
I miss D like crazy but I’m sort of glad he’s gone because I need to do me this week. I need time for introspection. He distracts me too much with his general awesomeness.
But I miss his face, and his laugh, and him sleeping next to me, and so many other things.
I’m just a love sick fool even after all this time.