wet…and not in a good way

One of the worst long term side effects of my cancer treatment has been the night sweats. It’s related to my ongoing Tamoxifen therapy, which lowers estrogen levels in the body, and keeps estrogen from feeding breast cancer cells. One of the very common side effects is night sweating. It’s not always bad, and sometimes I can go weeks at a time without much of an issue, but sometimes, like last night, I wake up drenched in sweat. And not just once…three fucking times. When I say drenched, I mean literally soaked and dripping sweat, have to get up and change my clothes…drenched. Have to flip the pillow over. Will need to change the sheets tonight. Etc. It’s so frustrating, not to mention gross, and it is really bothering me recently.

I have one more year of “mandatory” Tamoxifen therapy. As of August 2018, I will have put in my five years. But in 2013, studies were published which found that 10 years of tamoxifen is better than 5 because it:

  • lowered the incidence of breast cancer coming back (recurrence)
  • reduced the number of deaths from breast cancer
  • improved overall survival

So I feel like I have to keep taking it, but…I don’t want to keep taking it. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

I’m going to keep taking it, obviously. At least until side effects outweigh the potential benefit, which seems unlikely since the potential benefit is extended life. I love my life very much, and want to continue living it. That doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t want to vent sometimes about how much cancer fucking sucks.