Truthful Tuesday –
My favorite thing about my New York Times app subscription is the daily mini crossword.
I love my kids very much, but holy fuck I’m looking forward to a night alone with the husband tonight.
I love my cat very much, but I love my dog more, because he obviously loves me more, and I’m addicted to feeling loved.
The week in the cabin has me obsessed with the idea of upgrading from a queen to a king sized bed. My insomnia often has me tossing and turning most of the night, and I enjoyed how much more room I had to do so.
I give the impression that I have my life together, but I am, in fact, a bit of a mess. I need to be more organized and on top of shit. In fact, I really need to take a mini staycation to just organize my life.
The first half of this year was really kind of terrible for me, but I feel like I’m about to put all that behind me now. At the same time, I’m worried that if I think everything is about to get better, it will actually get worse.
My self-esteem is in the toilet. Every day some weird little thing happens that reminds me that I’m getting older, and while I’m grateful for the privilege, I’m also not ready to be invisible in the way that so many older women seem to be. I probably never will be. This has been particularly difficult to deal with recently due to my hysterectomy and oophorectomy.
On the flip side, the beauty of getting older is that I find myself giving way fewer fucks about so many things that used to cause a lot of anxiety. It is very liberating to see how so much of what people say and do is just utter fucking nonsense that I don’t need to concern myself with any longer.