Tiptoeing around the exes, particularly my ex’s, feelings.
Why now? Well…
Today my ex texted me about Halloween. He’s clearly not happy about the fact that I’m being a hard ass about it this year. My son is trick-or-treating at my house. It’s my night. He’s never been able to do so over here before because I always give in to my ex not wanting to have to interact with D. But not this time. Not anymore.
I invited him, his mom, and his gf to come over to be a part of things. It doesn’t have to be weird. We need to move past all this. I told him as much. He’s being weird about it, of course, and he’s clearly not pleased, but you know what…
I don’t care.
I’m putting my foot down.
You have been with this gf for over two years now. You’ve talked about moving in together. We’ve been apart for almost 6 1/2 years. I’ve been married to someone else for a year now. It’s time to move the fuck on from all this bullshit. And, if you can’t, then that is now officially your problem. I’m not going to feel guilty anymore. I’m done with all that. It’s like a gift to myself: let it go because his happiness (and also K’s happiness) is not my problem. You make your own happy, after all. It’s like a flip finally switched in my brain, and it feels good. Really fucking good.
So I’m going to treat both the exes like normal fucking adults who can either work with us or work against us when it comes to issues with the kids. I’m not going to take it personally or feel guilty if stuff doesn’t work out. I mean…if you want to miss out on time with your kid because you’d rather be petty then that’s your decision. If you want to be difficult because your feelings are hurt over shit that happened in 2012, then that’s your prerogative. Good luck with all that. Be a victim forever. Sounds like a great way to live. 🙄