shattered

I had a breakdown in the middle of a hospital last night.

I was confused as to how to get out, because I’m directionally challenged on my best days, and I couldn’t find my keys, and I leaned against the wall and just started sobbing. After six hours of holding it all in, I just couldn’t anymore. A nurse came over and helped me find my way (and my keys).

There are still kind people in the world.

Then I ran into someone I kind of know and that was weird because we’re both there for awful reasons and there are other weird things going on and I think I was nice and comforting to her but I was in a daze so I don’t really know.

On my rush to the airport to pick up D, I went the wrong way onto the highway. I realized it almost right away, thankfully. I sobbed the entire way to the airport.

There’s no point to this other than to get it out. Maybe that will help. Gotta keep writing it out. It would be easy to just shut down. Can’t do that. Gotta keep it together.

My husband is devastated. It hurts to look at him. The sadness is just emanating from him.

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