a big ole listy list

  • I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept having panic attacks. It has been happening more and more – mostly at night. I’m not sure what to do about it. I don’t want to be on an anti-anxiety med. Idk…I guess I need to get a primary care doc. I still don’t have one. I haven’t since the best doctor ever decided to quit practicing. *sigh* Still not over that shit.
  • It does feel good, however, to just blog about whatever the fuck I want/say what I feel, regardless of who may reading. Because fuck censoring myself. Fuck trying to spare the feelings of people who don’t give a shit about mine. Fuck you if you don’t like it.
  • Bizzy is here at the office with me today, and it is making everyone feel better. He’s lifting our spirits, and I can tell he’s happy to be here instead of at day camp.
  • Speaking of day camp, Jackson started a new one this week. It’s Harry Potter themed, and the afternoon session involves baking treats from the books/movies. He LOVES it.
  • You know what else he loves? Riding his bike. I am so pumped that he finally learned. Now he’s obsessed.
  • Most of my study furniture was delivered yesterday. So now I’m waiting on the sofa, which was shipped yesterday, and the desk which is TBD. The desk is kind of the most important part…so. One of our weekend projects will be installing my new fan/light, and maybe assembling my bookcases.
  • I’ve been better at adulting type things since getting home from vacation. By that I mean things such as: logging my food, exercising, meal prep, etc.
  • As far as tracking calories goes: I quit WW this week. It just wasn’t working for me. It’s trying so hard to change the way you eat, and so the points system penalizes quite harshly for things like alcohol and sweets. I get why they do it that way, but it just doesn’t work for my lifestyle. Jess turned me onto the Lose It app, and I absolutely love it. Even D is using it now. This will be our 6th day tracking, and I can already tell that it’s going to be different this time. Something has just clicked for both of us.
  • This cystic zit on my face is a fucking abomination. The thing that has helped the most so far is hydrocortisone, so I slathered a bunch on last night, and it was slightly reduced this morning. Very slightly. It’s still huge and achey and hideous.
  • I had more to say, but my next consultation is ready to go, so maybe later.
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