I was wrong about my oncologist not knowing anything. He apparently called the two radiologists who were reading my scans, and asked them to bump mine to the front of the line, and work together to get us info asap. Damn. I’m impressed.
It’s not good news. It’s also not the worst news. Mostly we have just ruled stuff out.
The short version is that I need more tests. There is a lot of inflammation in the stomach which could be causing the markers to rise. That makes sense given how awful I’ve been feeling. There are no visible tumors, but some lymph nodes are enlarged, and I have a lesion on my spine that could be a breast cancer met. I’m having an upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy next Friday. I need a PET scan if my insurance will cover it, though we’re considering just paying for it out of pocket. If not, they will go straight to a biopsy on the bone.
People have been asking how I feel. Dave expressed disbelief over how calm I am. Listen…there’s a lot of anger to be tapped into, but what’s the point? The truth is, I accepted a long time ago that this shit will keep coming for me until it finally wins. That acceptance has actually brought me a great deal of peace. Instead of worrying about something I cannot control, I’m going to focus on living my best life, for however long I get.
Listen, my dudes, I thought my body was gonna light up like a fucking Christmas tree, so for right now this feels like a win. I’ll take it.