A war inside my head

It’s 11 am, and all I’ve done so far today is move myself from the bed in our bedroom to the bed in my study, which has me feeling lazy and worthless. I have to constantly remind myself that it’s okay to rest. I have a terminal illness, and the meds used to treat it are way harsh. Self care is key. I’m so used to putting my physical needs on the back burner, but I have to learn to put my body’s needs first.

It’s okay to rest and have bad days. It’s not okay to give up. Gotta walk that line. I’m still learning that – even after all these years of chronic pain and health problems. I’ve always been incredibly hard on myself, but look at what I accomplished because of it. I did things nobody thought I’d be able to do, and it’s because I’ve been so relentless.

But on the other hand, I’m tired. So very tired. Physically and emotionally exhausted.

Food for thought. You never stop learning, growing, and changing.

I’m not feeling great today. I restarted the Ibrance, after a two day break due to chest pains/rapid heart beat. I’m two days into treatment again, and this seems to be the part where the side effects begin to make themselves known.

I just have to take it one day/pill at a time.

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