we remain in limbo

I don’t have all the results from the PET yet. It’s a long story, but I have to wait until Tuesday afternoon.

BUT – my doctor called this afternoon to tell me that the preliminary report shows no evidence of metastatic disease in the bones. He didn’t mention the lymph nodes – not sure that part of the report was ready?

No evidence of disease. NED. The words every cancer patient wants to hear.

I’m trying to not get too excited. After all, hope is a bitch. Plus, we have a couple of other things to look at in more detail next week. Some weirdness with my throat imaging, though I think that’s from me forgetting to take out my nose stud, and nobody noticed because of my mask. Metal can fuck with the scan. Ooops. But now I’m seeing an ENT on Monday afternoon just to be sure.

I can’t explain how I feel.

For the record, while this is definitely good news, if accurate, I am not cured, and will never be cured. I will never stop treatment until the day I die. I still have cancer. This just means that the treatment is (hopefully) working. If it’s gone, it will be back. That’s just the way it goes at this stage in the game.

But maybe I have more time than I thought.

I almost didn’t even mention it, because I feel like the rug will be pulled out from under me on Tuesday.

But like D said: let’s at least enjoy this good news while we can.

My nurse actually said the words “this is very exciting.”


Also – I think I have a migraine. Everything is too much.

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