I have to get my shit together

This fatigue and general apathy is starting to interfere with my daily life. I have messages and phone calls to return. People think I’m ignoring them, but it’s not that. My brain is all foggy from treatment and lack of sleep, which leads to me forgetting about stuff until it’s usually too late to do anything. Like now, for instance: it’s almost 12:30 am, and I’m wide awake and ready to respond to texts, but it’s too late to do so. And when I wake up tomorrow, I’ll forget again.

I’m such a fucking mess.

I need to get some shit accomplished tomorrow. Anything to stop feeling like a worthless pile of shit.

I kind of want to throw away all my stuff. And cut off all my hair. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’m not going to do it, but I’ve been thinking about it.

Like I said – I’m going through some shit.

I’ve never been a big TV person, but this quarantine has me watching a lot of TV. Most recently I’ve been binge watching Good Girls and Schitt’s Creek.

It’s kind of weird that I’ll be having surgery in a few weeks. I’m both nervous and excited about it.

This is all over the place. This is what it’s like inside my head nowadays.

I hope Monday is gentle.


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