some thursday thoughts

I’m feeling sort of chatty/bloggy right now. It’s hard to get motivated to blog nowadays, given that nothing much is really happening. I feel so boring and whiny. There’s only so much I want to say about cancer, and only so much you want to hear.

Anyhoo…

I’m excited for our plans tonight. It’s Thursday, which means we are without the kids. We are going to make a big Italian style dinner. Chicken parm with spaghetti, a salad, some Chianti. Maybe some garlic bread. It will be fun to drink and cook together. I don’t get Italian nights very often.

I am so thrilled that tomorrow is Friday. This week has felt long and my days have been packed. I have quite a bit on the agenda for tomorrow, but it will be easier knowing that I get to sleep in on Saturday morning. Assuming my body allows it.

This virtual school shit is starting to work my last nerve. Jackson is too spazzy to do virtual school. He needs the structure of a real classroom to stay on track. I am tired of constantly having to reign him in. I really fucking hope he can go back next semester, because I cannot deal.

He’s getting a tween attitude too, and that is pissing me way the fuck off. Sigh.

On the other hand, Freya has gotten quite a bit cooler, and I enjoy spending time with her more than ever, but we never fucking see her. She’s only here half the time as it is, but now we lose 3/4 of that time to school and band practice. I was looking forward to the marching band season ending in a few months, but now she says she wants to do winter color guard.

Shooooooooooot meeeeeeeeee.

Kids, man. I’m def tired of driving them all over fucking the place like an Uber driver that doesn’t get paid. I’m lucky to get a thank you. (I got one today at least – which is an improvement).

I’ve been staying on top of the running. I did three miles last night and two today. My body is sore. Last night, my ankles were killing me, as were my knees. The knees are not surprising, but I’m not used to ankle issues. I’m thinking I need new shoes. I don’t replace my running shoes as frequently as I should, because meh. I only wear them when I’m running or walking the dog. I’m not an athletic shoe kind of gal. Maybe I can find some cute ones?

I’m trying to get the Halloween party planned. We are only inviting two (maybe 3 at the most) other couples. I’d like to do it on actual Halloween, but know that it may not work for the other people involved. D and I are in costume planning mode, and I think we have a fun idea figured out. We need to discuss tonight. I promised him that this year my costume will be “sexy” something. We normally go all out on costumes, because Halloween is my fave, and we typically throw a huge party. Since that is not in the cards this year, I figure it’s a good time to do something silly.

I remembered earlier that October is breast cancer awareness month. Normally that shit annoys the hell out of me, and I’ve been wary to post much about it after that viral awareness post I had back in 2015. However, I’ve decided that I’m going to do a bunch of awareness stuff this year – mostly about metastatic breast cancer – because it mostly gets ignored. MBC makes people uncomfortable, because people like to think that breast cancer is a “good” cancer to have, and that people don’t really die from it anymore. This is false as hell, and I plan on spreading as much awareness about that fact as I can. I will be on my “Don’t ignore stage iv” soap box. Prepare yourselves.

Oh right – I made an email address for the blog. I have people reach out to me from time to time on other social media accounts, because WordPress makes it somewhat difficult to post comments, unfortunately. Also – I recognize that some people prefer to not post their comments publicly. So I made an email. It’s itsonlymakebelieve@yahoo.com. Hit me up if you’ve got something to say. I have gotten really bad about checking my messages on my other accounts (tumblr, insta, facebook).

In other news, I am meeting my new oncologist on Monday afternoon, and I’m sort of nervous about it. I really want to like her. It’s kind of a big deal.

I feel like I had more to share, but my memory is fucked nowadays.

xoxo

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