It’s pretty amazing how little motivation I have for my job at this point. Part of me just wants to hand the entire thing over to DG and move on to something else. I am not about this life anymore. I’m hoping that will change once this merger is done, but god damn it is a major pain in my ass.
Since it’s Tuesday, I’m going to confess something: what I really want at this point is to be a house wife. I want to grocery shop and clean. I want to chauffer the kids all over town. I want to micromanage their school work. I want to take care of the pets. I want to pay all the bills on time (lol). I want to go out to lunches with friends, exercise more, and meal prep. I want to take an hour in the morning to read. I want to walk the dog every morning and evening. I have never wanted this before. I have always been very career oriented. But my priorities have changed since being diagnosed metastatic, and I kind of wish I could just retire right now. The best years of my life are slipping away from me. Everything could go downhill in the blink of an eye. I’m scared.