end of the week ramblings

I woke up around 4 am feeling yucky. The side effects from the Aromasin (estrogen blocker) are kicking in, which so far has entailed extreme nausea and joint pain. So that’s fun. Luckily, Zofran and Ativan are taking the edge off. I haven’t started the new chemo (Afinitor) yet. I’m waiting on the specialty pharmacy to do their thing. Apparently, that one causes extreme mouth sores, and so I will need to use a steroid based mouthwash 4 x per day for 2 full min per. Jesus fuck.


Going into the office yesterday was good for me. It was good to get out of the house. It was good to feel like I was back in the mix. I loved seeing all my colleagues. It was really nice, and I think I need to try to make it happen once per week if possible.

My boss was like: I don’t care if you stop working completely – you will always have a place in this firm. Your pic will always be in the lobby. You saved us.

It was a lot, but it was nice to hear.

I was telling Kristie that what matters to me most right now is making memories with the people I care about so that my “spirit” lives on in them. I want to be remembered by the people I love. I want them to miss me when I’m gone. Hearing my boss tell me all of that made me smile, because I know I’ll be remembered. I know I’ll be missed. Shit – I’m already missed. They want me in the office.


Sorry – had to do some court shit. I love these phone 341s. I hope they continue on with these; at least in some capacity. I told my boss yesterday that I’m not sure I can be relied upon to go to court in person with any regularity. But these phone hearings are easy peasy. I’m doing them in my pajamas. And I can run to be sick if necessary. I can lie down while handling things. I have my emotional support pets (lol).


Anyway – today is a busy day. Two sets of hearings will take up my morning. Then the landscaping guy is coming by. Tonight, D and I have a fancy date night planned, which I am very excited about. This date is part of his birthday celebration weekend. Fancy dinner tonight and then the party tomorrow. His actual birthday is on Wednesday, which is when we will do the family party. I’m grateful to be here to celebrate with him. He will be 48. I’m hoping I’ll make it to his 50th!


At this point, I’m just rambling. There is nothing particularly interesting to discuss. We continue to ride our rollercoaster of emotions. We have good moments and bad. A lot of sad. But I try to find the good in every day. The beauty. It’s there if you look for it.

Happy Friday!

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