I got locked out of the blog for a bit due to a password issue, and I was freaking the fuck out. Guess I need this outlet even more than I thought. Interesting. I should start leaning on it a bit more. Maybe that will help?

Anyway – it’s 5:25 am. I woke up in a self-help kind of mood; possibly ready to start exploring life outside of my current pity party. So I’m like: what are just a few small things I can do today to feel better about myself? Here’s today’s list:

• Take a shower
• Drink some fucking water
• Take Bizzy on a short walk // briefly get out of the house

This is very doable, and I think it will help. Baby steps.

I do wish it would cool off by about twenty degrees. I’ve actually been (weirdly) craving some outdoor time, but it’s still too damn hot. I can see some day walks in my future. Walking while listening to music and just completely fucking zoning out? Sounds good.

I’m deciding to see even this slight interest in myself as a step in the right direction. No matter how tempting – I can’t give up on myself yet. I just can’t do it. Maybe I still have something to contribute? Maybe this accounting of my experiences will help someone? I don’t know. I just know that I have to do something.

I’ve been asleep, and it’s time to wake up.