I know I must be feeling better mentally, because I want to shop again. Haha.
Yesterday, I took a Ritalin at 4:30 pm so I could stay up later for our Friday night date. So, of course, D was passed out on the couch by 9. LOL forever. He needed the sleep tho. Poor guy. For the record, I was awake until around 1 am. That’s a big deal for me nowadays.
So that movie I watched the other day: Things Heard & Seen; well I read the wiki on it, which mentioned it was similar to What Lies Beneath. I hadn’t seen WLB since it came out like 21 years ago, so I asked D if we could watch it last night. It’s so interesting to revisit media from the late 90s/early 00s. I love immersing myself in that timeline. Anyway – the movie wasn’t great, but I liked watching Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeifer for a couple of hours.
It’s so weird how quickly I lost my taste for alcohol, and just so completely unexpected given how much I actually enjoyed drinking. Now I find it cringey for the most part. And the headaches…so not worth it!! But still – it’s so strange to me. Just another unexpected step on this MBC journey.
Freya is currently in quarantine at her mom’s house. She had a negative covid test, but then found out that same day that her bf tested positive. So she’s staying with mom until we can test again. Better safe than sorry given my medical bullshit, and given that Jackson is not yet vaccinated. (12 cannot get here soon enough!!). We miss her, but got to have a quick chat with her through the window yesterday. It was good to lay eyes on her. I hope she’ll be home by Sunday night.
I made Freya a goodie bag and left it on the porch (with some other stuff she had requested) because I am SUCH A MOM. Lol lol. No regrets. She seemed pleased. I want her to know we miss her. Yes, I said it, but sometimes actions speak louder than words.
I know everyone is, but I just want to say it anyway: I AM SO OVER COVID.
I’m feeling more and more comfortable every day in my postmenopausal, chubby, stage 4 cancery, freckled and wrinkled skin. It has been a life changing revelation: understanding (finally) that I owe it to nobody to be pretty. That societal beauty standards are fucking bullshit. That I AM pretty, just as I am. That I’m also pretty fucking strong. And pretty kind. Pretty smart. Pretty interesting. Who says getting older has to be all bad? It’s a blessing and a privilege, after all. Anyway – I’ll step off my soap box now.
I think I’m going to hire a lawyer to help with my disability. Oh and we met with the estate planning attorney so all of that is in the works. We’re setting up a trust and putting all of our assets into it. There will be trusts for the kids. I may not have been able to accomplish everything I wanted to, but it’s nice knowing that Jackson will be well provided for after I’m gone. He will never know the financial struggles I’ve known. And, while I do believe the struggle builds character, I don’t want him struggling with debt for the rest of his life.
Just to be clear: I’m providing for Freya, too. But Freya has two healthy, successful parents to help her out. She will be fine. Jackson has me. His dad is not, and will never be, financially stable. Buying that expensive life insurance policy back in the day was the smartest financial decision I’ve ever made. Go 2012 Jenn.
Oh this is a message for Carrie: dude, I signed up for the Fat Mum Slim Christmas exchange again. Lmao. I signed up for the worldwide exchange this time. I figure it will give me a fun project to work on. I’m essentially a stay-at-home mom/wife now. I’m supposed to do stuff like this, right??
Random thought alert: I miss pen pals. And collecting post cards. I’m showing my age here. LOL.
Our Saturday plan: headed to the city for Shake Shack and then to the Science Center to see the mummies!! Jackson and I have been planning this outting for weeks. I’m so excited the big day is here. ♥️
Wow – look at me being all talkative this morning. I’m in a good place mentally right now. I intend to ride the high as long as I can. I think my poor husband has emotional whiplash though. He’s just gotta learn to ride the rollercoaster without expectation. We all do.
I hope your weekend is lovely. More later. I’m feeling posty. xoxo