I’m awake and I hate it.

This is the part of the night where I want to cry, because I’m so damn tired, but cannot fall asleep. Time to take more drugs, I guess.

It doesn’t help that the bitch who lives behind me won’t turn off her back porch light, which shines directly into my bedroom. I crave complete darkness. None more black.

My husband, on the other hand, is snoring away beside me. I try not to be bitter. Lol.

I think I got good marks today in my holy trilogy: wife-ing, mom-ing, and lawyering.

We had our daughter’s bf over for dinner, and in the middle of food prep, the sink clogged and the pipe sprung a massive leak. Guess who’s calling a plumber tomorrow morning between court hearings?

BUT – dinner was salvaged, quite tasty, and the kids were happy. As I drove the boy home, both he and Frey were obviously pleased with how well things went during dinner convo. And I got bonus (step)mom points for inviting the bf to Friendsgiving on the 21st.

I’ve been trying to be somewhat more chatty with friends via text, but I don’t really have anything to say, so it’s not going super well. Also – I feel like people are weird to me now. All this cancer shit – it’s a lot of baggage, and people don’t know what to say. I just want my life to feel normal again.

I just took some Ativan. I hope that helps me get to sleep soon. I hope writing this will help as well. Sometimes I need to empty my brain before I can properly relax.

My sinuses hurt and they make my ears and teeth hurt too. Thanks, I hate it.

Tomorrow/today is another busy day for me. It’s weird just how much things have changed. It’s not all bad.


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2 thoughts on “I’m awake and I hate it.

  1. I really want to see you but I don’t want to ask because I know many people want your time and I don’t want you to feel pressured. I also don’t really have anything exciting going on, and I’m terrible at small talk. I love you always, though.

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