A ramble

Spending time with my bestie last night was really nice. We’re going to try to meet up one night a week. We want to do yoga together. Last night, after she left, I pulled my mat from the basement and cleaned it up. I may start today. Everyone keeps recommending Yoga With Adrienne, so I’m starting there.

I had hoped to get out and about today, maybe explore a used bookstore, or run some errands, but I’m feeling poorly. I’m having a difficult time kicking this sinus infection. So I think it’s another stay-at-home day for me. I don’t mind. I have books and cats to keep me company. The husky is outside all day anymore doing husky things. He’s living his best life.

Tonight is hopefully date night though, so yay for that. Kid-free, y’all got to feel me.

I’m currently making a pizza and reading another ghost story. I might snuggle up and start AHS 2 (Asylum) later this afternoon. I feel a bit guilty about all this free time, but I’m slowly learning to be grateful and enjoy. I’m lucky to be able to take the time I need to heal. It’s not like I asked to be in this position.

Speaking of – I have scans tomorrow morning. I haven’t had much scanxiety recently. Whatever will be, will be. I try not to worry. But clearly my subconscious is worried, because I’m having crazy dreams about my death. Last night’s was a doozy, though I will say that I was never really that upset. I was accepting. I always seem to be concentrating on how the situation makes others feel. It’s just a really weird mindfuck tbh.

I feel very alone nowadays. It’s not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just a fact. It’s changing me though. It HAS changed me.

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