On days like today, it slaps me in the face hard. It’s like in order to survive I’ve kinda blocked it out to a certain extent.

But I can feel it. I can feel my body slowly breaking down. I bet I’ll be dead in less than 2 years.

I’m going to go take a bunch of drugs now. I want to be functional when my husband gets home. I want to hang out and cook and drink and fuck and not waste a single moment.