Yesterday was a tough one.
D is sad. So very sad. I hate that I’m the cause of it. I hate that I can’t fix it.
I’m being super careful today. I took Jackson to Dunkin today for break. I got a blueberry cake donut (my fave) and ate it slowly over the course of two+ hours. It’s sitting okay. Just a bit of nausea. And the normal stomach churning, of course. It sounds like a storm is happening in there.
I’ve been having bladder issues, which I had attributed to the long time lack of estrogen, but seem now to be at least partly caused by cancer, so now I’m seeing an urologist on June 1. So that’s fun. Sure – let’s add another doctor into the mix.
It seems that the biggest concerns now are possible bowel obstruction and kidney issues. Sigh.
Whatever…moving on to other topics now:
- Our cruise details are up to date now. I finally got my passport so we’re all set. We will have our air travel arrangements by July 29. On Aug 18, we can start setting up excursions, and restaurant reservations. The countdown says we’re 163 days away. I’M SO EXCITED!!
- I have gotten some stuff done this morning (paying bills, setting stuff up) which helps me feel productive. I’ll be running some errands later. Getting this shit done helps me feel lighter. The littlest things are stressing me out right now. I feel like I’m already carrying so much, ya know?
- This really hot af lady that I’ve been crushing on friend requested me and messaged me over on FB. She asked our mutual friend to put in a good word since we’re both signed up to go to the same party Saturday night. I’m like omg omg omg why are all my crushes suddenly paying attention to me?? I want to make out with all of these lovely, soft curvy people. 🥰
- I mean…I’m not dead yet, right??
- It might seem depressing, but “The Beginner’s Guide To The End” is actually super helpful and soothing. I’m so glad I bought it.
- I’m excited to spend time with the kids tonight. Last night was a bust because I felt awful.
- Oh and tomorrow Annie and I are going to KC to see Rupi Kaur. SQUEEEEEEEEEEE.
More later. xoxo