Another Day Dawns

Last night, sick as fuck, I realized that I still went out of my way to make sure I didn’t disturb my cat from her comfy snooze. You might be a cat lady if…

I’m feeling somewhat better today. Still shit, but less so, and I’ll take what I can get. I’m still extremely nauseated, which is a bitch, and the mail pharmacy meds STILL HAVEN’T ARRIVED. I’m going to cry.

Sometimes I fantasize about dying. It’s becoming an actual solution now instead of something I just dread. It could/would be a relief on some level. I’m so very defeated nowadays. So sick. So diminished.

I washed my face last night, and lost a bunch of eyelashes. Now I feel AND look sick. Not that it really matters.

The kids start school on Monday. Jackson got his schedule today so it’s feeling real. I can’t believe he’s a 7th grader, and that Frey is a Junior. I’m too sick to take him to buy his school supplies, so his dad will do it. I feel pretty worthless at this point. I’m more of a burden than not.

I’m just a ray of fucking sunshine. I’d like to be able to eat today. I wonder how much I weigh now.

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