4:26 am

I’ve been awake all night with another migraine. It’s going to be a long day.

I had a little cry yesterday, because life is fucking unfair, and I’m tired of always having a stiff upper lip and pretending like I’m okay/everything is fine. I’m not okay. Yes, I have accepted my situation, and I guess I’m rather well adjusted, but that doesn’t mean I’m not upset about it. I put on a brave face, but inside I’m sad and scared. Sometimes I just need someone to hold me while I cry. I know this is hard for my family too, but I’m the one that’s going to die. Me. And it’s a journey I must take alone.

It’s terrifying.

Everyone just goes on living their lives, and I’m here trying to piece together my shattered future. None of the pieces fit anymore.

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One thought on “4:26 am

  1. I was thinking that must be really awful and weird…how everyone else goes on living their lives. It’s like that when you’re grieving someone who has recently died, too. Like when my childhood friend Melodi died from lung cancer in January. I couldn’t wrap my head around how people were going on with their daily lives. Very strange.

    A big hug for you!

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