More of the same today: bar hopping mostly. I’m not the drinker that I used to be, but I had several frozen cocktails today. It feels like saying goodbye to summer.

I’m in a weird place mentally. Watching my decline is really starting to fuck with my head, and my self-esteem is in the gutter. I’m so bloated and swollen. I look pregnant. My knees and feet are so swollen that I can hardly walk. I’ve been sucking it up, but it hasn’t been easy. We haven’t really talked about my cancer at all this trip, which is both a good and a bad thing. I feel like I’m just a total bummer to be around at this point. I don’t know…I’m struggling and feel kind of alone.

Still – I’ve had a good time, and I’m glad we got away. I can tell it has been good for D especially. He def needed a vacation.