This trip really brought home just how much my body has fallen apart, and how out of my hands everything is. I’d say it’s scary, but I’m too fucking exhausted to be scared.

My plan for the weekend is to rest as much as possible, and reflect on what I want to do for my next treatment. I avoided thinking about that this past week. But I need an answer on Monday. It just feels like nothing is going to work and nothing matters. I’m tired of suffering.