I started my morning vomiting, and then crying while D held me. It was actually quite helpful. My stomach is being okay-ish right now, but I’m certain that’s because I haven’t eaten and haven’t had much to drink yet today.

Tonight will be the third show I’m missing out of my season ticket package to the Fox. The show tonight is Frozen, so I don’t care so much, but I hate missing out on the time with my bestie. Hopefully she can find another date so she gets to go at least. I just don’t trust my body. I had a nightmare last night that I threw up all over myself in the middle of the show. Omg the horror.

I’ll be spending my day resting again, though D is encouraging me to at least leave the bedroom for a change of scenery. I do think that would do me some good. I may even try sitting outside on the back porch for a few minutes. Depends on how my body feels.

When he gets home tonight, we’re going to try out the new drain all by ourselves. I’m nervous about it. Then I’ll try bathing myself. I’m too afraid I won’t be able to lift myself out of the tub, so gotta wait for him to be home. This is my life now.

I can deal with almost any side effect besides the nausea and vomiting. So I hope this shit will chill the fuck out. I really need a win with this one. A significant win. I’m at the end of my rope. I feel utterly hopeless.

I was going to get my hair trimmed and dyed, but sounds like it might fall out again, so I might as well wait. I’m just so over how I look right now. Still vain af. Lol.

It’s 8:19 am and I have a full day ahead of me. Ugh…the boredom. I so miss my old life. My old self.

Forever mourning.

xoxo