Chemo cycle day 2 always sucks. Today is no different. I skipped the trip to see the eye doctor and stayed in bed. Maybe I’ll reschedule. Maybe I won’t. I kind of don’t care anymore.

Today will be a stay in bed and rest sort of day. I’m going to try to drink a lot of fluids to flush the toxins from my body. It sucks to think this treatment isn’t helping and I probably did this to myself for nothing. These are the times I start to consider stopping treatment, calling in hospice, and getting my best quality of life while I still can.

I’ve recently become friends with Aly who has stage 4 colon cancer. We met on instagram, and we are in very similar places right now. It’s nice to have someone to chat with and vent to about how much this sucks. Someone who truly gets it. I worry that neither of us have much longer. We both agree it is highly unlikely we will be here come summer without some sort of miracle. Still – I’m grateful for her friendship.

I’ve met some really amazing people over the years because of cancer. That’s the silver lining.