I’m feeling a bit depressed after reading over my CT. Reading in detail what’s going on inside my body is terrifying. I’m kind of amazed I’m still alive, tbh.

One of my cancer friends is on the struggle bus big time, and I’m scared for her. For both of us. The end is extremely fucking nigh.

I can’t figure out anymore if I’m scared to die or just resentful and sad that I’m forced to leave the party early.

These are the things I ponder when I don’t keep my brain occupied.