Hello Again

  • We finished our Community re-watch, though we did skip most of shitty season 4. I’m bummed it’s over, because it was a mindless way to pass time. Sometimes that’s just what I need.
  • I keep getting the most random songs stuck in my head. Most recently, it’s Riding With The King by BB King and Eric Clapton. I haven’t thought of BB in years, though I’ve seen him twice (maybe three times) in concert. So amazing.
  • I started The Housemaid’s Secret by Freida McFadden this afternoon. Speaking of mindless entertainment… Anyway – I bet I finish it during tonight’s insomnia sesh.
  • We switched up my pain meds again. Switching out Xtampza for Methadone. I thought the flavor of the liquid would be an issue, but it’s not too bad. Bitter for sure, but I was an IPA queen for many years, so I can handle bitter. Weirdly, I don’t care for coffee tho.
  • At this point, I’m continuing this blog mostly for my own sanity. I know I’ve become an extremely boring person, but I spend a lot of time alone, and sometimes I need to feel like I’m “talking.” Plus, people occasionally reach out to say they’re reading, and it’s an easy way to keep everyone who cares up to speed on the current sitch.
  • I did tell Jackson about the blog the other day, but not the URL. Just that it exists and will be waiting for him someday when D decides he’s mature enough to handle the content. He was happy to know. I told him that there’s a lot of talk about death and dying right now, and he agreed that isn’t good for him. When did he get so mature? My baby is a young man! I’m so incredibly proud of him. My beautiful legacy.
  • I think this particular blog has content from as far back as mid-2012. A most interesting and crazy time in my life. Life def wasn’t boring back then. It will give him (or anyone) a good picture of the person I am/was. I’m so thankful for my wordiness!
  • We have plans with our best couple friends for a fancy dinner out on Saturday night at a French restaurant, and I can’t stop thinking about their absolutely amazing French onion soup! I think I’m going to dress fancy too, assuming I feel up to it. Not much occasion to get out of lounge wear nowadays.
  • I need something to watch in my endless spare time. Any suggestions? I’ve been into documentaries recently. Good horror is always a win. No romance or feel good bullshit. Nothing cutesy that pretends to be dark either, like Wednesday.
  • One of my nearest and dearest asked me to write a toast for her wedding in May, and I’m all verklempt. If I can’t attend, another friend will read it on my behalf. I just hope my words can adequately convey my love for her, and my happiness that she has found her person.
  • A friend with Stage 4 colon cancer just entered hospice this week. I’m sending her all the love and peaceful vibes. She has really little kids. It’s so fucking unfair. A fucking tragedy. If I think about it too much, I’ll spiral. *deep breaths*
  • I’m meeting with Dr. D tomorrow to discuss hospice, because I want all the info going into my discussion with Dr. B on Monday. I suspect it might be time, or at least dangerously close, and I want to know what services we will have available. My biggest concern is that it will be too much for my family to handle on their own with limited support, so I want to know how often I’ll see a nurse, and how (and how costly) to get additional help. I want to die at home, but I’ll go into care if it’s easier for my family.
  • This is what I read that has me thinking more about this issue.
  • Tonight, D is going to make my favorite Alfredo, and we’re going to watch a cheesy romantic comedy. Then I’m going to hope for a good night of restful sleep. I never feel rested anymore.
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7 thoughts on “Hello Again”

  1. I was trying to think of a good documentary, because I’ve seen so many, but they all tend to leave me bummed out. Last one I saw was “Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father” and now my husband is not allowed to pick movies anymore LoL 😅 Oh, “Perfect Bid: The Contestant Who Knew Too Much” was fun! So I’d suggest that one to pass the time with something not super deep.

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  4. Documentary I watched and enjoyed recently was The Twelfth Victim on Showtime after Stephan King tweeted about it.

    Series I am currently watching include Servant and Shrinking, both on Apple TV+ and The Last of Us on HBO Max.

    I hope you find something out there to watch!!!

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