I’m in a weird funk. I’m not upset or unhappy really. I’m just tired, and I have no motivation. I just don’t care about much of anything. Also – I need a break from people. I love how much the kids want to be with me, but I just don’t feel personable right now. I’m doing it anyway, but I feel run down, like I’m spread too thin.
I feel like everyone wants a piece of me, and I’m running out of pieces to give.
It’s too early for my liking, but this prednisone life. Ugh. But it’s keeping me alive, so I really shouldn’t complain.
Instead of just lying in bed, I decided to get up. I’ve fed the cats, and am now in the living room, about to read.
And there’s some early morning vape action afoot.
I told Freya she could do my makeup, and that we’d pick up some more pink hair dye. D wants to go to the gym, which we really should do. I need to be stronger. Plus, it’s an opportunity to make more progress on the audio book. I’m actually enjoying the experience more than I expected. Oh and I also told Frey we could do a SATC marathon. I should definitely do some laundry. Yikes.
I have nothing exciting to report, which is good since all of my excitement seems to revolve around my various ailments. Sigh.
I’m feeling pretty okay mentally, which, given EVERYTHING, I’m sort of surprised about. I’m going to try to stay ahead of falling into a funk. For now, the key is to immerse myself in things I enjoy, especially time with the fam and books.
I will say that seeing all the Valentine’s Day stuff out has lifted my spirits. It’s my favorite day, and I’ve already starting getting gifts. I think I want some decor this year too. Just something small and cutesy. Oh and I may have sent this gift hint to my husband:
I think I’ve already mentioned it here, but just incase you missed it…READ THIS BOOK, LADIES.
This morning, I broke out into so many hives that eventually my body was just one big hive. The pain and itching were unbearable. Then my eyes, throat, and tongue started swelling, which means…ER time.
On the way in, it was getting difficult to breathe. In hindsight, we should have called an ambulance, but I have a particular ER I like, and wanted to go there. I’m kind of an expert now. SIGH.
Anyway, I made it inside in time to pass out. I got pumped with all the drugs, including an epi-pen and steroids. I’m going home (soon I hope) with more of the same.
I have no idea what caused this. I can only guess. I ate a protein bar this morning that I’ve never had, so maybe a food allergy? But I’ve never had a food allergy. My chemo can cause a rash, but this def wasn’t just a rash. So…idk, dude.
It was a traumatic experience for both me and D. I’m trying not to freak out, but I could have died.
I love The Fountain On Locust, but I only get there every few years or so. I met D there this afternoon for an early happy hour, because it’s right next to his gym. The Fountain is famous for its ice cream martinis, so I had to indulge in my favorite: the chocolate covered banana. 🥰
I’ve been terrible about keeping up with friends recently. I’m just so tired. Plus, I’m spending most of my now limited time with the fam. Freya, in particular, has required a lot of my attention recently. Also, I’m a boring old lady with nothing to talk about.
It’s early, and I don’t need to be up yet, but I guess I’m getting used to waking up early? Boo.
I am going into the office today, but a bit later than usual. My first meeting starts at 9:30. I’m staying until 3-ish, when I’ll then leave to meet D in the city. We’re going to a wine bar. Gotta get our dates in before a weekend with the kids.
My new weed knocked me the fuck out last night. I didn’t need any sleeping meds. I slept soundly until D woke me up around 6:30 to have sex. I had some intense dreams though, like the kind that feel very real.
January has me in a big ole funk. I’m thinking exercise might help? Trying to get back into walking. I did 3.5 miles Tues night. Gotta try to stay consistent, which is the hardest part, of course.
I’m also trying not to play the comparison game. I’ve gotten a lot better at it, but now I’m looking at old pics and playing it with myself. LOL.
I have a hair appointment later this month, and I’m getting bangs again, so be ready for me to hate them. OK thanks.
But I need a change, and I hate my forehead. So.
I’m going to try to sleep some more. This job exhausts me.