Since I’ve made the decision to go back to work, everything feels lighter. I feel more like myself. Im trying to figure out my schedule. I’ll only be doing up to 30 hours per week. It’s important to me to still have time for myself and my family. It will feel good to contribute financially again. I’ve been feeling like such a burden, and it has really fucked up my mental health. I’m not used to having someone take care of me in that way.

I remember when D and I became a couple publicly, and several haters said I was gold digging him. I laughed because the very concept was so abhorrent to me. I learned from my mom what it meant to be financially dependent on a man, and it wasn’t good.

Not that D would ever do anything like that, but still – the concept of financial freedom was ingrained in me.

I don’t know how long this era of good health will last, but I’m trying to stay positive.

I’m also working to reclaim my physical health. I’m being careful with my diet – trying to be healthy. Drinking wayyyyy less alcohol, and when I do drink, it’s not beer.Drinking more water. Moving a lot more. It’s good.

I’ve been working on various projects around the house. I’m most proud of the progress I’ve made in my son’s pit of a bedroom. I wish I had before and after pics. It was like an episode of hoarders. I’d ask why boys are so gross, but the girl isn’t much better, tbh.

And now for a random pic dump, because why not?

Oh – I’m halfway through this book, and I’m obsessed!

• I retook the Myers-Briggs test with the kids on Friday night. I’m an INFP now instead of INFJ. It makes sense. I’ve changed a lot over the last few years. Frey and I are the same. Jackson and D are both extroverts.
• Date night was good for my spirit, and it was good for D’s too. He was in a much lighter mood by the end of the evening. We both went a bit off plan last night diet-wise, so I’m afraid to face the scale this morning. BUT…I had my lowest weigh-in so far yesterday morning, so I know the changes are working. Slow and steady.
• We’ve agreed to go on a trip to Louisville in February with a group of lifestyle peeps. Four of them we know fairly well. The rest are either acquaintances or strangers. It should be an interesting time. I’m enjoying pushing the boundaries a bit. It keeps life fun.
• Last night, D and I were discussing our numbers, and he was surprised to learn I keep a list in Google Keep. Lol. I’ve had sex with 15 men, and 8 women. I definitely wouldn’t mind upping my number, under the right circumstances. Sounds like I have that chance in both January and February, so we’ll see how that plays out. It’s all about the vibe for me. It’s gotta feel right in the moment. And I’m picky.
• Freya and I are having a girls’ day today. Doing some Christmas shopping. We’re def hitting up Target, but may also hit up the outlet mall. Either way – money will be spent. I hope I can find some good things so I can scratch off some stuff from my own list, though really I’m more of an online shopper nowadays.
• It’s not quite 9 am. Still in bed with D. Sex has been had, and the sleepy is kicking back in. Bye.

Today has been a good day so far.

I put more carbs back into my diet because my body was PISSED. My body always struggles with keto, but this was unbearable. It helped almost instantly. So now I’m trying to eat lowish carb, watch my calories, and move more. I’m not looking for a quick fix. I just want to feel and look more like my old self again.

I met with the quality of life (palliative) doc today via Zoom, and she’s fucking amazing, like I feel as though I have a plan to put my life back together. I wish I had reached out sooner.

The short version: med changes, MIGRAINE MEDS 🙌🏻, physical therapy (including massage and acupuncture), a new sleep routine, and I’m supposed to exercise 20-30 min 4-5 times per week.

I went on my second 2 miler of the week. Progress!

Oh and I got my covid booster and flu shot this afternoon! CVS gave me two sweet coupons for getting vaccinated by them. I saved $15 on my purchase (because of course I shopped after getting boosted – DUH)

I’ve made plans to meet up with friends over the next couple of weeks. And I’m thinking about going into the office next week. I need a change of scenery. I need to feel social and productive. I miss being a part of the world.

We’re going out to dinner tonight with friends, and that’s a good start! I’m ready to go:

xoxo ♥️