I’ve been letting my tees speak for me this weekend.
That second tee was made for me by my meta. I ♥️ her so.
New sheets, cat cuddles, and a good book: the best Saturday vibes.
The kind of person who makes up a song about Arby’s big beef and cheddar, and then sings it happily while devouring said sandwich.
Without the bun, of course!
In this lesson, I decided to just answer the questions/prompts and not write out a separate post.
What is standing in your way right now?
- Right at this very moment? A husky is huffing and puffing at me because he wants me to let him outside.
- The first (real) thing that comes to mind is my metastatic breast cancer (mbc) diagnosis. I don’t know how much time I will have left to accomplish all that I want to do, and sometimes that cripples me with fear. I know that no matter how long I have left, it will never be enough, and wouldn’t be regardless of the state of my health. I just happen to know that all of my dreams of growing old with Dave, watching my kids grow up, and doing all the little things you take for granted, isn’t in the cards for me.
What would happen if you overcame the obstacle? More importantly, what would happen if you didn’t (think broadly: emotionally, physically, financially, etc.)?
- Obviously, I cannot really overcome this obstacle. The cancer is here, and it isn’t going anywhere. But I am learning to live with my new reality.
Can you reframe the most pressing current obstacle as simply a to-do list? In other words, in order to overcome this, what do you need to learn? What tasks do you need to perform? Who do you need to convince?
- I need to live in the now.
- I need to let go of things I cannot change.
- I need to spend my time only on the people who give their time to me.
- I need to reevaluate my goals, and get moving on the things that matter most to me.
- The only person I need to convince is myself. You have to make your own happiness.
Are obstacles really just fears holding you back?
In some cases, definitely.
What is the longest-running obstacle in your life?
- My overwhelming shyness and anxiety. I’ve struggled with it my entire life. It kept me from meeting people and having fun/interesting experiences for a very long time.
What steps have you used to make progress toward overcoming it? How far have you come with it? What do you wish would happen? How would that be possible?
I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 33. It was a huge, lifechanging experience, and I emerged from it a different person. That was the first time I was forced to truly contemplate my mortality, and it changed the way I saw myself and the world around me. I started talking to acquaintances (and even strangers) out of the blue. I started building new friendships. I become more confident. In a lot of ways, it feels like being reborn. I finally understood just how little time we really have to live, and I knew I had to start seizing the day – every single day.
I have a hard time relating much to the person I was before.
What is the biggest obstacle you faced in your past? Did you overcome it? If so, how? If not, why?
Outside of all the cancer drama, I would say the biggest obstacle in my past was a childhood full of abuse and neglect. My parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. At a certain point, neither of them were working, and I was the only one bringing in any money. I had three younger siblings I was trying my best to raise, while maintaining a high GPA (in the hopes of going to college and escaping), and working as much as possible.
I honestly don’t know how I overcame it. I just worked SO FUCKING HARD. I never gave up. I set my eyes on the prize (college) and didn’t stop until I got what I wanted. Looking back on it, I am amazed by my dedication and strength. I was kind of a badass.