I’m going to see Matchbox Twenty & Counting Crows tonight with friends and I’m really looking forward to it. In preparation for the concert, I listened to M20 on my way down to the office this morning. A song I hadn’t heard in a very long time came on and it instantly transported me to 1998, sitting in my (now) ex’s dorm room, while he sang the song to me. It blindsided me and I got a bit upset, because the memory is bittersweet; especially given the lyrics of the song and where we ended up. Anyway, it looks like it’s on the set list for this tour, so hopefully I don’t lose my shit when they play it. Everything makes me cry nowadays. Ugh.
You’ve gotta take the good with the bad. The good memories I’ll recall tonight will far outweigh the bad/sad, and I am excited to spend a fun filled evening with my old school peeps.
I love the On This Day feature on Facebook.
D and I got shit faced at a winery and his ex went off on him. Worth it.
We looked so different!! This was like 4 months of hair growth for me post chemo.
Trip to the Lake of the Ozarks. We rented a boat and bought silly clothes at the tourist shops.
Our trip to Punta Cana
We bought a house and a bunch of new furniture to fill it with.
Labor Day Weekend 2017 is going to be chill. We just got back from the DM Road Trip. Tonight is D&D league. There will be lots of grilling and chilling. Haha
Do you remember that game show Supermarket Sweep? I used to really dig that shit. I’d watch it when I got home from school, while I was eating my after school snack. Well…not a snack so much as a couple thousand calorie binge. Usually that was the first food I would have eaten all day because I had this weird eating issue where I wouldn’t let other people see me eat. Keep in mind, however, that I was also extremely underweight. When I graduated from high school, I was almost 5’7 and weighed 104 pounds. Sometimes I’d skip lunch period to hide in a bathroom stall and read so that people wouldn’t ask me questions about food. I was a truly strange and fucked up teenager.
Oh and I also remember that my high school boyfriend called me sunshine, not because I was bright and cheery, but as a dig because I was dark, moody, and sarcastic.
Not much has changed in that regard.
In like 1986, when I was seven years old, I heard the following song on Family Ties and it struck me as the most beautiful and romantic song ever. My thoughts on that particular subject have changed over the years, but this song still holds a special place in my heart, and I get all teary eyed whenever I hear it, which admittedly isn’t often. For some reason, I’ve had it in my head the last couple of days and have been singing it to myself.
At This Moment:
What did you think I would do at this moment
When you’re standing before me
With tears in your eyes
Trying to tell me that you have found you another
And you just don’t love me no more
What did you think I would say at this moment
When I’m faced with the knowledge
That you just don’t love me
Did you think I would curse you
Or say things to hurt you
’cause you just don’t love me no more
Did you think I could hate you
Or raise my hands to you
Now come on you know me too well
How could I hurt you when darling I love you
And you know I’d never hurt you
What do you think I would give at this moment
If you’d stay I’d subtract twenty years from my life
I’d fall down on my knees
And kiss the ground that you walk on
If I could just hold you again
I’d fall down on my knees
And kiss the ground that you walk on baby
If I could just hold you…
If I, could just hold you…
If I could just hold you
My cousin just posted this pic of me on Facebook from my 5th birthday. I want another Care Bear cake!
Back in 2013 during the middle of chemo, D and I went to see The Joy Formidable in concert and I got really sick. The venue had limited seating, so we were stuck standing, and I was so dizzy that I thought I was going to pass out. In fact, at one point I did faint in a bathroom stall. I was desperately trying to hold it together in order to not ruin the evening, as D was so excited to finally be seeing one of his fave bands. Right when I was about to cave and bail, a guy offered me his seat. I started feeling much better once I was able to sit and we were able to make it through the show. That guy saved our night, and I’ll always remember how kind he was. ❤️