my favorite part of the call

was when her boyfriend, referring to his court appointed lawyer, stated, “I could do a better job than this guy.”

Oh could you? Really? Why don’t you then? Why are you calling me? 

Oh and the part where he was angry because they want them to leave and immediately do urine analysis, but he says he can’t because he has to go to work. Then he bitched about how it will count as “dirty” even if he doesn’t go. So then he asks, “Should I go?”

Me: “Will it be dirty?”

Him: *avoids answering question* *insert more bullshit about needing to go to work*

I seriously need to consider changing my number.