My kid doesn’t like school. It’s not just a virtual school thing. He just doesn’t enjoy school (outside of the social stuff). He doesn’t enjoy reading, writing, and learning new things. He’s a slacker, just like his dad. I just don’t know how to get through to him. I always loved school. I can’t relate to his bullshit. I’m really frustrated with him right now. It’s only day 4 and he’s already not doing the shit he needs to do. Sure, I can punish him and force him to do what he needs to do, but I’m annoyed that it’s even necessary. Do your shit, bro.

I could never, ever be a teacher. I have no patience and zero chill when it comes to bullshit. I’ve already made him cry today.

Oof.

The teen starts school (virtual) on Monday. Luckily, she is pretty self-sufficient, and generally enjoys school, though last year we did have an issue with her not doing her work as well. I swear to god, I am going to fuck these kids up if they don’t get and keep their shit together. I do not have time for this bullshit. I will take away everything they own that brings them even a shred of joy. I am not playing around this year.

A little truth

I’ve never considered myself a particularly good mother.

I’m not motherly.

Listen, I love my kids. So much. But I’m not a mom’s mom. I don’t pack fancy lunches or join the PTA. I’m not a joiner. I don’t make friends easily. You won’t find me baking for the bake sale or being a chaperone. Can I just send money? Cool.

Here’s what I’m good at: life lessons. I keep it real. I’ll tell you what it means to toss someone’s salad (like tonight at dinner haha). You wanna know the truth? I’m your gal. I’ll also be your ride or die. I’m always there when the chips are down, but I’m not going to be your girl scout leader or your band mom. I’m not going to tell you when to go to bed. I don’t care when you go to bed. You can stay up all fucking night for all I care, but you’re also going to school tomorrow! Live your life. Learn. Ask me anything. You need a ride at 3 am when you were supposed to be staying with your friend, but you’re out drunk with some rando instead? I’m your girl. And I won’t lecture you or ask any questions, because I know you already know – because you called me. And I’ll love you and support you through everything, because like I said: ride or die. I will die for my kids, if it comes to that, but don’t ask me for brownies for the bake sale, unless I can get them from the bakery.

That’s my truth. That’s me as a mom. For better or worse.

Tonight:

♥️♥️♥️

covid concerns

My ex-husband’s gf might have Covid, so Jackson will be staying here until we know.

I’m really nervous about school starting in the fall, and I’m not sure I’m going to send him back with things as they are. I wish Parkway would announce their plan so that I could make a decision. I’d prefer online with limited in-person instruction. If they don’t offer online learning, I’m seriously considering signing him up for a private online school. I’ve started looking into options.

I wish we had good leadership. This would have been hard regardless, but we’re stuck with an incompetent, narcissistic man child as our president, and cases surging in the US. I don’t know what to do, but I know I’m not sending him back with things as they are now.

Freya has been going to marching band practice every day for the last week, and I hate that too. From what I’ve observed, social distancing is not being taken seriously. I know our kids need a social outlet, but I have a bad feeling about this. If it were my decision, it wouldn’t be happening. Her safety (and ours) is more important than her social life.

Ugh. What a shitty year. Fuck you, 2020.