I received the following email the day after the play where someone performed a monologue from the viewpoint of a frustrated mother whose daughter keeps losing her retainer.

I remember thinking: that’s probably going to be me at some point. I didn’t think it would be me THE NEXT FUCKING DAY.

He only had it for two days before he lost it. Motherfucker. There goes another half day of work and another hundred bucks.

what a week – and it’s only wednesday

My day is not off to a good start. I’m beginning to think this just isn’t going to be a good week for me.

I slept like shit again.

Woke up with a headache as a result.

Running late because it was hard to function.

In my zombie-like haze, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eye with a hair product.
OH THE BURNING. So now my eye is swollen and sore, and my make-up is all fucked up. lol lol lol

Just received more bad news about our daughter not doing her homework, and lying to us about things, and I am really fucking disappointed. Her not taking her schoolwork seriously is bad enough, but the lying?? That’s fucking unacceptable. She looked me in the face and told me that she was caught up in her other subjects, and then we found out today that she’s behind in two others.

Tonight should be a fucking blast.

Sigh.

Mama ain’t playing anymore

Yet another night spent yelling at my kids for not doing their fucking homework.

They aren’t going to like where this is headed. Jackson’s iPad has already been confiscated, and don’t think I won’t take Freya’s iPhone and replace it with a fucking flip phone.

These spoiled kids have no fucking idea the shit storm that will rain down upon them if they don’t get their motherfucking shit together.

I guess this is life with a teen and a tween? Oh yay.