this is 13

Before she left this morning, I hugged Freya and said, “I love you. Please be kind to yourself.”

She just seems so fragile anymore. It makes me sad.

Last night, she wasn’t finishing her dinner, and we got her to admit that she doesn’t care for meat, which we already knew, but it’s even more than that: she thinks she wants to be a vegetarian. And we were like, “Okay that’s fine. You just have to tell us these things. We cannot read your mind. We won’t be mad. Just. Tell. Us. Please. We cannot help you if we don’t know what is going on.”

Last weekend, D’s college bestie stayed with us, and the three of us had a conversation about teenage girls. His daughter is like 15, I believe. Anyway, she is also difficult and moody. She does almost all of the same stuff Frey does. It was interesting to hear his take on it, and to hear how he handles it. D and I both consider him to be a bit of a super dad, so to hear that he is also frustrated made us feel better. Especially since he utilizes a lot of the same strategies we do.

We made her show us her arm last night, and it looks terrible. We asked her why. We asked her what she’s feeling when it happens. We asked lots of things, but always got the same answer: I don’t know. Until I asked: Do you worry a lot about us being mad at you? To which she replied, “Yes.”

Sigh.

I don’t think we are unreasonable or particularly harsh parents. I think we have expectations and standards, as we should, but maybe we need to reevaluate things?

But, on the other hand, maybe we need to keep doing exactly what we are doing. Someone has to parent her. She doesn’t seem to face any consequences to her actions over at her mother’s house. In fact, it sometimes seems like she gets whatever she wants. We should know…we foot a large chunk of those bills.

I’m turning comments off on this post. I don’t want any commentary. Right now I just want to say the thing and move on.

come to the dark side

My step-daughter currently thinks she wants to be an attorney when she grows up.

On the one hand, I’m like oh to the no.

But on the other hand, I’m like fuck yessssssss.

She interviewed to be a defense attorney for the mock trial, and found out today that she got it. It’s the first thing she told me tonight when I picked her up, and we both squealed. ❤️

On the drive home, she was asking me about various cases of mine, and kept saying, “That sounds so fun.”

Oh and apparently the kids thought I was the best guest speaker they’ve had, and they want me to come back. That made me smile.

the lecture

I lectured Freya’s class this afternoon on crim law and trial practice. It went really well. The kids were super engaged, and asked a lot of insightful questions. I totally geeked out. I had been worried I’d run out of things to say, but we talked right up to the bell.

At one point early on, I heard one girl whisper to another, “Freya’s step-mom is really pretty,” and it reminded me of my favorite Grey’s Anatomy quote:

lawyer mom

Tonight has been a good night with the teen. She has been especially talkative; I think partially because she’s excited about tomorrow afternoon. I’m going in tomorrow to help out in Spectra, the gifted kids program, by lecturing about crim law. The kids are doing a mock trial, and I get to be the expert. Tomorrow I’m popping in to teach them about burden of proof and reasonable doubt. She seems really excited about it. The teacher made them interview for their roles at trial, and she applied to be the defense attorney because I “make it seem fun and interesting.” That made me really happy. It’s nice to know that she actually listens to me when I talk.

Tomorrow should be fun. I’m hoping he’ll let me come back later to watch the actual trial. I love mock trials. Trial Practice was my favorite class in law school.

I’m totally going to nerd out. It already happened on the drive home tonight. I love talking about the law.